LASTLINE with Constance Meju
A friend and colleague in the development field, Chief (Dr) Bridget Osakwe recently nailed the problem in the country. She said that the daily news and display of killings without end in the country has numbed the humanity in us as Nigerians. The West African Network on Peace-building, WANEP, country director was presenting a paper on Women in Armed Conflict at a Beijing +30 Review meeting organized by Kebetkache Women Development and Resource Center for Niger Delta women in Port Harcourt.
Many agreed with that assertion. It is no longer news if 100 men, sons and husbands, are beheaded for failing to pay homage to bandits; if a whole village is destroyed and the people there killed because some cows got missing; a general in the army is captured, killed and buried in a village or a gospel singer butchers his girlfriend, a husband sets his wife ablaze in broad daylight over alleged infidelity, or a young wife stabs her old husband to death. Mothers are abducting other people’s children to sell for money while some parents sell their own children.
Our humanity is no more. Nothing shocks, we just look, move on and that is it. Tomorrow, something more terrible happens. But it was not that way before. Nigerians used to care. I remember being involved in a ghastly motor accident in 1988 just as we approached Lagos coming in from Benin. Our vehicle had somersaulted four times landing each time but for the last time, on my side so that, by the time it was finally over, I was well battered and unable to come out.
Seeing the accident, many travelers quickly parked their cars and rushed to our rescue. Some stopped even before the car stopped somersaulting and were waiting to see what help would be needed. That was in the Rev Fr Ede of Elele days. Some rushed down with their highly valued Elele Holy water which they generously sprinkled on me as I drifted in and out of consciousness. Help was everywhere. A man, a bit elderly, Mr. Okpaire from Ibadan, took it upon himself to carry me with my multiple injuries first, to Lawanson, Surulere to notify my family of the mishap, then to an hospital in Victoria Island where I was taken care of-routes that were certainly off his course.
He kept checking on me anytime he came into Lagos for the three months I was in Lagos, and kept communicating with me till he was convinced I was strong and back on my feet-some two years of care. He became a father of sort. That was then.
These days, if you have the misfortune of being involved in an accident, you are more likely to be robbed than helped. People first go through your belongings, take what they please while others pan their phone cameras on you, watching you struggle with pain and dying slowly. And the children are watching!
They are seeing us preach kindness without practice, proclaiming laws we do not respect. They are watching us point to say that the lives of others don’t matter, watching us display that selfishness, greed and hardheartedness are the keys to living. What then do we expect them to do with such pointers? Life is led by example, by walking in the steps of those we love and respect. So, when you as a parent fail to point to the right way, you are helping destroy the lives of those coming behind and, the future of this country. You are contributing to raising a generation of men and women who tomorrow, will do worse than we are doing now. Sons are already killing their mothers and kidnapping their fathers. And we cannot allow this inhumanity to spread.
Therefore, it is our duty as women and mothers to reflect, retrace our steps and begin to do the needful. To save our children and their future from further damage. Let us try and reclaim our humanity, the compassion that enables neighbours remain in harmony despite diversity. Let us speak up against the evil that is fighting hard and fast to swallow us all up in this country. Let us beam the light on the path to a future that is sustainable, one that respects the right to life and dignity of our neighbours regardless of sex, tribe, religion or class and by so doing, quietly and gradually rebuild peace in our lives, communities and NIGERIA. WE CAN, THEREFORE, WE SHOULD!